What is your name?
What are you here for?
Are you allergic to any medicines?
When is the last time you had anything to eat or drink?
Have you ever been put to sleep before?
Did you have any trouble with the anesthesia?
Boy, I know way too many of these questions. I've been to a lot of surgeries. Maybe I can be the question guy for surgeries when I retire.
Anyway, you can hear the people in the room next to you when the questions are asked in this hospital because they are only separated by a curtain. So much for the patient privacy. Today the nurse was asking the guy next to us (separated by a curtain) the questions and I could hear them pretty clearly. I was not trying to eavesdrop, but it's hard not to hear. OK, I was trying to eavesdrop a bit; we'd been waiting there for over an hour and a half at this point and there was no TV in the room. Entertainment was hard to come by.
The man looked to be in his 70's or 80's. The nurse asked him how tall he was. He was 5'10". She then asked him how much he weighed. He weighed 206 (not that I was listening). Before she could ask the next question, he asked her how much she weighed. I thought, "OH NO YOU DIDN'T." But he did. You know the possibilities of something good happening at this point are pretty slim. Before she could gather herself to answer that question, he ventured a guess. I wanted to holler, "Whoa buddy, hold on there. You are about to need more surgery than you came in here for." He guessed 125. I breathed a sigh of relief figuring he had guessed low. The worst thing at this point is to guess high. I had not seen the nurse go in there, but I'm thinking 125 is pretty safe. He guessed too high. Seriously. He guessed too high. The nurse said, "Actually, I weigh 115 but I'd like to weigh a bit less. And I'd like to smack you with a bedpan." OK, she did not say the part about the bedpan, but she did say the part about 115. I'm thinking, "Dude, not only did you try to guess her weight, you guessed high. You never guess high." See, you don't guess but if you lose your mind and do guess, you have to guess low. You just have to. I did notice she corrected him. I wonder if she had weighed 135 if she would have said, "125 is pretty close."
Today, I heard a man guess his nurse's weight that he did not know and guess too high for my "first."
My man next door was thinking slow; perhaps not at all
In case you are wondering, he made a bad decision
Here's a resolution for the men; never try to guess a female's' weight
Guessing a female's weight is probably unchristian
My face upon hearing the man guess the nurse's weight
Oh no you didn't
The nurse (not really)
I thought of a Bible verse as I thought about this exchange. It is James 1:22- "My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry." This dear brother needed to listen to the nurse's question and be very, very slow to speak. The nurse did a very good job of being patient. I've thought of two possibilities for why this verbal exchange went the way it did. One is the guy was old and figured he could get by with this. One of the few things I'm looking forward to about being old is that you can get by with things that the rest of the population can't get by with. You can wear things, say things, and make bodily noises and get by with it. I'm not sure who made that rule up but it was probably an old person. The other possibility is that the man had brain damage. After all, we were in a hospital.
Here's a good verse for us. Psalm 19:14- "Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart Be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my rock and my Redeemer." Our words have great power. They have the power to build up and the power to destroy. We can make someone's day and we can put someone in a foul mood pretty quickly by our words. We can point people toward Jesus or the devil with our words. We can confess Jesus and we can deny Jesus. Let's be careful that our words are used to build up and not tear down. As one person has noted, "We have 2 ears and 1 mouth. Maybe we should learn something from that."
Ugly talk is not just a bad habit according to Jesus. It is a reflection of an ugly heart. Jesus said in Matthew 12:34- "You brood of vipers, how can you, being evil, speak what is good? For the mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart." I've had a bit of fun with the guy guessing the lady's weight, but our words are really serious. Jesus said they show what is in our hearts.
Needing to speak well to live the abundant life
3 things I thank God for today
1. Patient nurses
2. God's truth about our words
3. God is not Dead movie